no, i don't have it all together, but I'm trying

Happy on the outside, a smile spread across my face;
little did you know, its a fake smile filling the space.
Keeping myself occupied, busy, constantly on the run;
hoping if these hands are full they can't hurt anyone.
I'm calm, cool, collected, (almost) appearing composed.
Keeping that fake smile plastered on my face hoping nobody knows.
There’s more to me than meets the eyes;
the only way I can cover that up is with lies.
Letting people past these walls is a foreign concept to me
I would never show anyone the door, much less give them the key.
At some point its good to learn,
you have to stop living for everyone else, and watch the bridges burn.
Remember that  night i confessed my feelings to you,
you said you felt the same but its just a matter of time before you fall through.
Just like everything else in my life, i cant depend on it
deep down i always know when to call "bullshit"
Don't actions speak louder than words?
If thats the case then your completely unheard.
I'm dreading the day you say you have to go,
the only thing i'll be able to say is i told you so.
I'm smart enough to know that day will soon come
It's something enevitable, something i cant escape from.
I would rather figure this out sooner than later,
hopefully it leads me to something greater.
Now i'm screaming, ranting, raving, crying.
No, i don't have it all together, but believe me babe, im trying.