Drowning

We’re told when it rains, it pours. So we have to learn how to dance in the rain. I’ve learned to do so, but now I’m swimming in the flood. Looking up, each drop plummets directly into my eyes as tears come forth… or perhaps it’s just the rain. I’m waist deep, water swirls around me as I feel like every step forward is deadening. Every movement is resisted. My fingertips graze along the surface as the cohesion pulls at my skin with the friction of fine silk. Now chest deep, my lungs filled with air warmer than my drenched skin and the feeling of being alive and breathing is the only thing that urges that warmth within me. My arms anchored by this relentless weight that surrounds me from all sides, suffocating my energy and freedom. The water clears the top of my head as I struggle for the surface, hoping that perhaps I can catch a break, one little stolen gasp of air to prolong my suffering… then the calm sets in. I’m pulled to the bottom and I can only keep looking up as I hold my breath. The refracting light casting rays of memories down upon my torso. The surface glimmers and it’s light is the last sparse source of beauty and I can’t even reach it. I will never reach it again. The calm stage of observance begins to fade as panic sets in, my last reserves of air in my lungs drift from my lips and glide past my eyes as I see the reflection of fear in the bubbles. My body tenses and searches itself for scarce parcels of life left within me but I’ve already begun to fade. My body goes on with it’s hopeless and primal attempts to not give up, yet my mind has already gone. My eyes fixated on the surace, body movements slowing, and finally peace…